Quietly I sighed. Sleep was far from me...dreaming? It had been years since I last dreamt...several years since I decided to abandon half of me and explore myself.
I know that we share thoughts. I wonder if that's changed; surely that sort of thing would fade if I myself became different. But how do I know that we're not changing together? I can't feel anything from my other half; we're too far away. I've grown so used to the emptiness that I've become numb. Quietly I fingered the right half of a heart charm I bought years ago. My other half was there somewhere. Surely it's alive, right? I would feel that kind of thing happening, surely.
"But what's the difference between lost and dead?"
My mind began scrambling to remember what it was like to feel. When I had my other half...I think I was happy. But... My mind wavered, trying to remember something, I think that it's not an it...
Suddenly I doubled over in pain. My brother. We...we used to understand each other so completely. We shared everything. Something happened, and we had to part...
I stared at the ceiling again, my eyes unseeing. Lots of somethinga had happened. We had been found as children wandering the streets, crying about something. We had both faked being mute...I still do. What was more vulnerable than a young girl who never spoke? We could beggar anything then. Brother was almost always the most loved, though. He was the one who was always smiling... I think he existed the most, always. He was always right there, and I always chose to shadow him.
My brow furrowed. Why was I remembering all this now? How come I hadn't thought of this before?
[to be continued]